Anonymous said: Christian does not over ride ana wanting to negotiate the contrate. They definitely work things out to their liking. And on top of that, there was 100% concent in everything they did. She read the contract and agreed to the spanking gags and ropes.
Oh, you wanna play this game? Let’s play!
This post pretty much came about because I was asked if I had resources for Muslims who were discovering or newly coming to terms with their sexuality. I didn’t, and the poor advice I had to offer was … poor. So, I pulled up a few of the blogs I followed that are targeted towards queer Muslims, and put together this little post for you!
Queer Muslim Blogs:
- Ahwaa: An open space to debate LGBTQ-related issues in the Middle East
- ComingOutMuslim (check out their project here: [x])
- InQueeries channel with Yusef Woof (contact firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Salaam Canada
- Muslims Against Homophobia and LGBT Hate facebook group
- Totally Radical Muslim Zine
Queer Muslim 101:
- A quick gender/sexuality 101
- But what does a queer Muslim even look like? (hint: they look like people)
- Defining homonationalism and pinkwashing.
- PDF:Homosexuality In Islam, by Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle (Intro + 1st Chap) Buy your own copy!
- PDF:Muslim LGBT Inclusion Project, by Intersections International
- Why Safe Spaces are Important
- “I’m confused about my sexuality.”
- “I need proof from Qur’an and Sunnah that I’m not Haraam.”
- “What about the Qur’an and Hadith that chastise LGBT*Q Muslims?”
- Some hadiths can be read in different ways, so it’s best to look at the outcome.
- “Islam and LGBT* are not mutually exclusive.”
- “But I was taught Islam was the most heterosexist religion.” [tw: continuously moving background at the link]
- “But all Muslims are homophobic!” (spoiler alert: you’re wrong.)
- “But Muslims hate sex - it’s ~dirty~ to them!” (I would recommend this class for basic 101 on marriage and love [sex] in Islam. Take it with Basyouni.) (See also: x and x)
- “Love the sinner, hate the sin, and why that’s bullshit.”
- “Should I come out?” (spoiler alert: that’s up to you!)
- “Is there a place for LGBT*Q Muslims?” (Or “There’s no place for LGBT*Q Muslims/no organisations/no hope.”)
- “Will LGBT*Q Muslims go to hell?” (spoiler alert: I’m not God, how would I know?)
- “But it’s unnatural!” (lolk)
- “There aren’t any gay Imams or Sheikhs, so you’re just making things up!” (Also here.)
- “But no fatwa was made!” (It’s Wahabi.)
- A post about other Sheikhs’ opinions.
- “But there are no inclusive mosques for LGBT* Muslims!” (Just stop.)
- There is no place for homophobia in Islam.
- Let’s repeat that: There is no place for homophobia in Islam.
- Ayahs that talk about Prophet Lut.
- A closer reading of ayahs re: homosexuality (prev here but no longer).
- See also: You decide how you interpret your religion.
- Homosexuality in Sharia
- Homosexuality in Predominately Muslim Countries
- Predominately Muslim Countries who are taking steps toward equality. [x] [x]
- Same-sex marriage
- Queer Muslim Cinema: Azizah, Illuminations, Coming Out Muslim, A Jihad For Love, I Exist, Coming Out Muslim: Radical Acts of Love, Al-Nisa [BONUS: Show Al-Nisa and Red Summer (the producer) some love!], Circumstance, Naz + Maalik (Currently in production), Gay Muslims (a documentary produced by Channel 4 in the U.K), City of Borders, The Bubble, Out in the Dark (Palestinian and Israeli fall in love. facebook page).
- Queer Muslim Literature: [x] [x] [Gaylaxy magazine] [Bareed Mista3jil] [Totally Radical Muslims Zine]
- Desi LGBT*Q Hotline
- Queer Pakistan LGBT*Q Voice and Support Group [and here is a news article]
A good thing to remember is to avoid the self-hatred phase, if you can. Focus on loving yourself, and realising that Allah made you just the way you are, and that you are loved. If this phase is unavoidable, here are some helpful sites:
- Help! I’m losing my Islam
- Feeling suicidal?
- Suicide prevention
- Supporting someone who self-harms
- Suicide and Crisis Hotlines
- Online Crisis Network (for those with anxiety which prevents them from talking on the phone)
If you are from Indonesia, Pakistan, Bangladesh, or India and want to share your experiences (anonymously), please click here.
If you can spare some funds, help navigatethestream, a queer Muslim, become an Imam to help the Muslim LGBT* community!
E.L. James knows as much about BDSM as she would have found in a five minute Google search, which is to say that she knows precisely jack shit.
50 Shades of Grey does not depict a realistic kinky relationship, nor does it depict a healthy relationship of either the kinky or vanilla variety.
It is a Twilight fanfic, and has all the elements of Edward and Bella’s abusive relationship with kink added for extra flavor. Just as Edward and Bella are not a healthy or realistic couple, neither are Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Christian Grey is an abuser who manipulates a young woman with zero knowledge of BDSM into a relationship with him. He knows she is ignorant of what a healthy BDSM relationship looks like, and uses this to:
This is not BDSM. This is not sexy. This is abuse.
Using 50 Shades as your basis for how a kinky relationship works (for critical or practical purposes) is like treating Titanic: The Legend Goes On as a historical documentary. Don’t do it.
The acclaimed model announced that she will only be modeling women’s fashion going forward and that her agency supports her transitionModel Andreja Pejic comes out publicly as a transgender woman, shares her experience with media and Facebook fans | GLAAD (via obstinatecondolement)
One year my colleagues David and Carole were preparing a skit on abuse for a conference, and they decided to perform a rehearsal for their abuser group. Afterward, the group members rapid-fired their suggestions for improving the skit, directing them mostly at David: “No, no, you don’t make excuses for why you’re home late, that puts you on the defensive, you’ve got to turn it around on her, tell her you know she’s cheating on you….. You’re staying too far away from her, David. Take a couple of steps toward her, so she’ll know that you mean business…. You’re letting her say too much. You’ve got to cut her off and stick to your points.” The counselors were struck by how aware the clients were of the kinds of tactics they use, and why they use them: In the excitement of giving feedback on the skit, the men let down their facade as “out-of-control abuser who doesn’t realize what he’s doing.
“Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft (via bajo-el-mar)
I really need to read this, Jesus.
Will liberal, pro sex work feminists ever care about Eastern European women being sold into prostitution in Germany?
The very idea of this post is ridiculous. How many times do we have to say that sex work and trafficking aren’t the fucking same? Being pro sex work does NOT mean we don’t care about trafficking victims, Jesus fucking Christ.
Who’s saying they’re the same? The point is that the legalization of sex work is correlated with increased instances of human trafficking.
Most of this pro sex work legislation is written under the assumption that a larger market of legal prostitutes will decrease the “demand” for trafficked women, but that simply isn’t the case. The legalization of sex work broadens markets for prostitution, which in turn increases the number of women being trafficked into these countries [x]. Amsterdam and Italy are prime examples of countries where legal prostitution was legalized and organized prostitution, like brothels, was outlawed, yet by and large women are still subject to pimping. This increase in the number of trafficked victims doesn’t seem so surprising considering terms of imprisonment for prosecuted traffickers are paltry at best [x].
What’s more, it’s not like these are regional issues. Women and girls are trafficked and sold into prostitution in the west too, and because sexual attitudes in the West and in Europe are so similar [x], it’s not a stretch to assume that the same increase in demand that we’re seeing in Europe would occur in the West as well.
Pro sex work arguments are correct in that we shouldn’t demonize people who are sex workers or see them imprisoned for resorting to sex work, but branding the legalization of sex work as a liberatory practice while ignoring the glaring human rights issues that it exacerbates is dangerous.
"Who’s saying they’re the same? The point is that the legalization of sex work is correlated with increased instances of human trafficking."
No, it’s linked to increased REPORTS of trafficking. Common sense will tell you that a woman who faces both violence from the person trafficking her and incriminating herself for illegal prostitution isn’t going to report what’s being done. Infact, criminalization is what makes it easy for women to be trafficked. There will always be a demand for prostitutes, legal or not, but when it’s criminalized, it’s unsafe for women to report anything that happens to them, including trafficking, rape, and assault from clients or pimps. Legalization means these women can come forward and seek protection when they are being forced, rather than be thrown in jail for prostitution.
Trafficking and sex work STILL aren’t the same though. And, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell me, a sex worker, about my job. No one’s saying it’s “liberatory.” I don’t find my job empowering and I reject the idea that it should be considered any more revolutionary tan any other job. But I am SICK TO FUCKING DEATH of people throwing me and fellow sex workers under the bus as not caring for trafficking victims or somehow exacerbating the issue when we’re just trying to put fucking food on our table.
So, I ask, what the fuck are YOU doing for these victims? Because my fight for sex work to be legalized will help ALL sex workers, as well as victims AND clients. By making it legal for us to do our jobs, legal for us to carry condoms and go to clinics to get tested without fear. And by making it legal to sell sex, those who are forced to don’t have to worry about having the book thrown at them for admitting that someone is controlling them and their bodies.
But what the fuck do us hookers know, right?